Sure, this "jukebox" is pretty lame compared to what we have now. I mean, I can basically Google any obscure song with the new computerized machine thingamabobbies, then pay an extra dollar to have my song played first (like the fast pass at Six Flags), and manage to piss off an entire crowd waiting to hear Bon Jovi. But that's just wrong. There's a certain etiquette when picking out songs on the jukebox. That's why I want to find a bar that still has the CD flipper:
There's no cutting in line with this baby.So my birthday happens to be coming up, and all I want to do is monopolize a jukebox in a shady bar, while watching the Final Four on TV. A pool table wouldn't be so bad either, because let's be realistic... I will need a pool stick as my microphone. But as music obsessed as I am, all I've been thinking about is, "What am I going to pick on the jukebox?!?" The songs have to be sing-able, fun, not too predictable, not too obscure, true to me, cool, a little edgy, and appropriate for a shady bar. If I'm shooting pool, can I really pick Kelly Clarkson?
I'm going to start picking my options right here, right now, in this blog. For my 28th birthday, I want these songs blasting out of a jukebox while I sing into a pool stick microphone. I would also prefer an Amstel Light to be in the other hand. Thank you very much.
1) She Talks To Angels - The Black Crowes
(Note: it's Black CrowEs)
This is when I've got a good buzz going, and I want to wear my rock star sunglasses. At the minute mark, I'll probably play "air piano" AND "air organ" at the same time. I'll need someone to play "air guitar" with me. We'll all belt out "the pain gonna' make everything alriiight!" Sing-a-long? Check. Steady beat, good to sway to. I think this is a jukebox pleaser. There's even a great buildup to "She don't know no lover... none that I ever seen!" and then the big musical drop... so emotional. I can see the guitar solo on the pool stick right now as I "pull those shades down tight."
2) Paper Planes - M.I.A.
Maybe I'm a little bias because I love this song, I love M.I.A., and I have a Paper Planes dance. I'm ready. This song never gets old. I like to think I have swagger. Not to mention, everyone knows the chorus and everyone's hands go up in unison... so it's a crowd pleaser. It doesn't matter what crowd. People don't really care about the lyrics, and half the drunk folk don't know we're talking about murdering people by the end of the song. Just embrace the gun shots!
3) 25 or 6 to 4 - Chicago
I just want to play "air trumpet" and "air trombone." Don't you?
4) Criminal - Fiona Apple
Do you remember how awesome this song is? Do you remember how awesome this video is? Alright, maybe the whole bar won't go crazy for this song, but I feel the need to sing the hell out of this. First of all, it's in my range. Second of all, it's Fiona. Third of all, it's probably best that I choose this one instead of a different Fiona Apple song.
5) In The Air Tonight - Phil Collins
Mike Tyson may have ruined the impact of this song. Yes, the drum solo is epic and we will all go crazy. We will in fact get it all on camera when we play "air drums" for that split second in our life. But let's also think about the amazing lyrics. What? He's going to let you drown? And what's with all the echoes? Reverb times 20 is great for interpretive dance. I'm not going to lie. I love Phil Collins and all things Genesis.
This is my abbreviated setlist. I'm putting $20's in the jukebox on April 2nd. Let the monopolization begin. Any suggestions?
I'll end with my obscure pick.
6) A Kiss Before I Go - Ryan Adams
And yes, I expect "one shot, one beer and a kiss before I go." Get on it. An Amstel Light, a shot of Absolut, and a kiss from, well...
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