Four Shows. One Week. Part Two.

I can't do it.  I can't give a real review about David Garrett, because I don't know if he's real.  All I can say is... my grandmother loves him.  She watches him on PBS (or is it WTTW now?) and she wanted to go.  So, I went.  And oh my, does she have a crush on him.  I just don't get it.  My grandmother is a singer who appreciates classical music - so how does she appreciate such a staged gimmick?  Yes, David Garrett can play the violin very well.  But take a look at this packaged, marketed, production:

Question:  Did they create a "Classical Crossover Chart" just for David Garrett?

Sadly, Orianthi was not at the Chicago Theater.  Neither was the orchestra.  But we did get to see the awesome boots that he was wearing at minute 3:30.

 The video is a little too contrived for me, especially compared to that of the band I am going to see at the Metro next week:

I mean, maybe my grandmother and I just have different tastes in music.  And no, I'm not being all artsy fartsy.  There's no deep meaning behind the Deer Tick video.  It's just as shallow as the David Garrett production.  Maybe those boys were hungry, went to a McDonald's, brought their guitars (and upright bass) outside for a little session, and then a train strategically passed by right at the end of the song as an ending credit.  

And yes, I like classical music.  But I dislike fake classical music.  For example... real classical music:

Shostakovich - Piano Quintet, Op. 57 Mov. III

I chose this example because

1) Shostakovich ROCKS

2) I've played this before and it's just as fun as it looks.... aka a beast to put together.  As the pianist, you're in your own little world.

3) These performers have absolutely crazy hair.  WTF?!?

4) Seriously, watch this and tell me you listen to classical music in the "background."  It's meant to be watched.  This is why you go to the symphony - to see crazy mofos like this perform.

Now, an example of fake classical music:

Ok.  I'm not going to do it.  I'm going to piss off some people if I start posting Andrea Bocelli videos and calling him out.  

Back to David Garrett... I totally get what he's doing.  He's mixing the old with the new.  He's introducing the youth to classical music!  Whew hew!  Like dude, it's totally cool to play the violin.  And Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, all those dead composers, well, their music can still be relevant today:

But here's my problem.  I teach piano to kids, and they actually want real classical music.  Teachers aren't giving it to them because they assume that these students don't want it and they don't ask them.  The minute I introduce it to my students, they're like, "Oh, now that's pretty.  I want to learn that!"  Pretty soon, I've got all my young ones wanting to learn classical music.  We right away assume that the "youth" don't like dead composers.  Well society, you're wrong.  And I've got nothing against electrifying some Shostakovich.  Believe me, I've always wanted to add some rock n' roll to some chamber music, add some jazz chords to Beethoven, spice things up here and there.  Why the hell not?  But David Garrett is banking off of something that he's not.  In concert, he's playing the most basic, fan favorite pieces of all these composers... and you can see that he wants to do something more.  Well guess what?  Half of the audience probably wants more!

So here's my advice to you, David:  

1) Give us the rock symphonies.  Sure.  But then, give us an obscure, crazy ass, Prokofiev violin concerto (well, you know, just one movement).  That will really knock the socks off of us.  Not everyone in the audience is as ignorant as your manager wants you to believe.  

2)  Lower the mics on the drums.  Seriously.  

3)  Tell your bass player to lay off the happy pills.  He was in his own little world.  

4)  Add a woman in your band.  It's 2011.  The whole male posse thing is so Entourage outdated.

5)  Once again, lower the mics on the drum kit.  It's not a Metallica concert.  

I hope you guys have a better understanding of David Garrett and the current marketing of fake classical music.  Probably not.